join the cult
The Cult for Girls is an elite organizations for girls and cats. Interested applicants are invited to contact Caity Valentine to receive an initiation task and gain entry into the Cult for Girls Black Book. Read our “About Us,” then take our quiz below to see if the Cult for Girls is right for you!
ABout us
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The official Cult for Girls colors are red, pink and white. The Cult symbol is the white heart, representing light and purity. The Cult mascot is the domestic cat, a symbol of mystery, intuition and independence.
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There 5 tiers refer to the Cult for Girls 5 membership tiers, which are listed below.
I Initiated
II Popular Girl
III Feral
IV Special Member
V Cult Leader
All members enter as "Initiated," with the exception of cats, who enter as Special Members. If you are interested in moving up, contact Caity Valentine directly. We cannot reveal the nature of rising tasks at this time.
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Upon initiation, your name and status will be written in a confidential record keeping notebook called the Cult for Girls Black Book.
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No. If you are initiated, all cats in your care are automatically initiated, too.
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;)
Is the cult for girls Right for you?
Take our personality quiz to find out. Choose A, B, C, D or E for each question, then check out your results below.
1) How would your friends describe your style?
a. Daily pantsuit with beige flats. Hilary Clinton is currently devising a plan to raid my closet.
b. All-black everything, oversized tees, ripped fishnets, with a cat to match.
c. Pink, red, white, girly, doll-like with vintage influences and killer thrift finds.
d. Boho or sporty, platform sneakers and a mini backpack to hold my pre-rolls.
e. I don’t have friends, but I’m covered in blood?
2) It’s Saturday Night. What are you doing with your time?
a. Calling my parents. I need to make sure they still approve of my life path.
b. Goth, emo rap or alt-rock concert with some girls I met in the alley behind my apartment.
c. Showing up fashionably late to my besties birthday party with a gorgeous gift I have been working on for months!
d. Mushrooms. Definitely mushrooms.
e. Polishing my knives, then financially dominating a man over Zoom for money.
3) Speaking of men, it’s Valentine’s Day, and your man shows up with your dream gift. What is it?
a. A sensible moleskin planner and pocketbook. In navy blue.
b. A coffin-shaped charcuterie board with my favorite meats, cheese, and chocolates atop.
c. A white Range Rover, a bouquet of 100 red roses, and a pair of siamese kittens. I’m a simple girl, really.
d. Reservations to a wellness retreat. Bottomless mimosas and baby goat yoga? Yes please!
e. Backing away slowly and never returning. How did he get my address?
4) What is your favorite holiday?
a. Groundhog’s Day.
b. Halloween. Duh.
c. Valentine’s Day, of course!
d. Christmas. I love eating dinner, watching movies and exchanging gifts with my closest friends and family.
e. My cat’s birthday. She’ll be 42 next week.
5) What do you fear most?
a. Being disliked. I do my best to blend in wherever I go.
b. Being basic. Life is too short to think, dress and act like everyone else.
c. Being abandoned. I love to be loved and might have Borderline Personality Disorder.
d. Being betrayed. I am loyal, honest and trusting. I would be devastated if someone took advantage of my warm and loving nature.
e. Being investigated by the FBI. Again.
6) And lastly, which Cult for Girls song is your favorite?
a. Cult for Girls. I hum the “la la la” intro while my boss is giving the weekly performance report.
b. Feral Pt. I. I, too, have a collection of stray men who fall.
c. Fantasyland. Sugary, sultry, and suspicious. Just like me!
d. Borderline. It’s so sweet and the stray kitten part gets me every time!
e. The upcoming one. I gained unauthorized access to the Cult for Girls database and found it, along with some interesting government documents…
RESULTS
If you got mostly As… Anxious Alma.
Between the polyester pantsuits and hunger for parental approval, joining the Cult for Girls may be too intense for you at this time. Try talking to a stranger or wearing the color red to get that thrill you seek, and reach out again soon. Remember, people will judge you no matter what you do, so do what you love!
If you got mostly Bs… Black (probably chipped) Nails Blake.
We like your goth girl style and bold attitude. Saturday night cemetery meetup and Sunday afternoon horror movie marathon? Count us in. With your cool, clever and creative personality, you’ll fit right in at the Cult for Girls. Inquire for initiation. And share your alt-emo rap playlists asap, please and thank you!
If you got mostly Cs… Cult Leader Caity
Sweet, spirited and slightly psychotic. Like Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls, Alice in Wonderland, Sailor Moon. Or, our very own Cult Leader, Caity Valentine. You think deeply, give great gifts and advice and always dress to impress. We would love to have you in the Cult for Girls. Inquire for initiation.
If you got mostly Ds… Dandy Delilah
Compassionate, loyal and adventurous, you are the best friend a girl could have. We’re thinking… morning yoga, afternoon music festival, then dinner with your mom? We just know she’s a delight, too. Inquire for initiation. Both of you.
If you got mostly Es… Eccentric Ester
You may not feel like you belong, given your outlandish interests and one-of-a-kind weekend plans. That’s why we’re here. The Cult for Girls celebrates odd girls. Inquire for initiation, and find a friend who enjoys black cats and Holy Mountain as much as you do.
